Target Adventure

5:30 Saturday evening

After being forced to work all day due to the incompetence of a male
1LT, I get home and realize I have no plans. Nor do I have any
palatable food. Therefore, I must adventure to the store. Get in car.
Drive .5 miles to target. Become annoyed because the parking lot is
crowded. Seriously, who goes shopping on a Saturday night!?!?!

Walk in store. Become even more annoyed because people keep steering
their fucking carts in my way. I'm on the fucking phone, and I can
drive my cart better than that. Look for Kindle case. Discover they
are all 30 bucks. Cheaper to order online. Look for headphones. No
sweat resistant ones. Give up on shopping and go foraging for food.

Accomplish most of food shopping list. Go look for taco kit aisle.
Find taco kit aisle, but there is cute guy in aisle who smiles at me,
so I continue down the aisle without stopping for taco kit. Does not
seem like cool food to buy. Loop around food section to go back to
taco kit aisle. Cute guy STILL in taco kit aisle. He looks up. ABORT
MISSION. Tacos must wait til next time.

Search for 3-hole puncher in office section. Discover that the one
item target does not have is three hole puncher. Annoyed. No tacos or
hole punchers. Go to check out.

While waiting in line, the express checkout guy waves me over. I tell
him that I have more than 10 items. He says that's OK. Wooohooo. I am
no longer annoyed. Cute checkout boy wants to help me. Quickly
discover cute checkout boy is gay. NO longer excited. He tells me it
helps him to checkout faster if I put all the frozen items up front
(he actually says "I'll love you forever if you put your frozens up
front"...def gay). So I do. He then replys, "oh my, you have almost
all frozen foods." Am mortified. I mumble that I can't cook, and he
says "that's okay. you poor thing."

I think I am going to die. Worst shopping trip ever.

However, when I get home, I unpack all my bags and realize I still
have something in one I was trying to throw out. I find a role of
cookie dough. It's like finding a prize in the cracker jack box. I
think that will make my evening a little more enjoyable...