Deploying

Emilia reminded me about this blog, and she is right. This is the perfect opportunity for me to keep in touch with everyone and document my first deployment. I can't guarantee there will be many interesting things for me to say, but I will try to write in here every now and then without being too boring. I've heard deployments are usually like Groundhogs Day, but who knows maybe I will have lots of adventures, love affairs, and witty conversations with Generals to report on...or I will sit behind a desk everyday.

Right now I am sitting in the Norfolk Naval station airport. We have three more hours until we take off. Who knows how long the journey will take. I know we have a layover in Bangor, Maine, Ramstein, Germany, and possibly Qatar.  I don't expect to be in Kuwait until sometime later tomorrow. It's a weird feeling not to know when and where you are going to be in a few hours. I don't even know where I will be sleeping for the next couple of days. Saying goodbye to the family was hard. I was surprised that I teared up as much as I did, but I think it was a combination of sleep deprivation, PMS, crazy hormones, and nerves. Also, I have a hard time not crying when my mom is balling hysterically. And to be honest, I am not really sad or nervous. I am more excited for a change of scenery. The last few weeks at work have been too much drama for me, and I need to get away. Granted, I complained for over a year that Fort Eustis was boring. Now I finally have friends, a life, excitement, and I'm leaving. Oh well. I will be back in 9 months. It feels like no time since Chelsea left back in September, so maybe my deployment will go by just as fast. I hope so. I was a nice little breather from Eustis, a chance to collect my thoughts and grow up a little. Then I'd love to come back and spend another year with all my friends. I have really grown to love and appreciate the relationships that I have developed, especially over the past 6 months. Katrina and I got really close before she left, as did Joanna and I (especially after Katrina left). Chelsea is back, and while we didn't talk much during her deployment (because everyone knows I suck at communicating) we are closer than ever now. Plus I love the guy friends I have here now Ben, Ryan, JP- they are all awesome, and I want the opportunity to spend more time with them. And even as stressful as being an S1 was, I loved being in 53rd and working with many of the commanders and staff there. I hope I will get the opportunity to with them when I return. I guess I will have to wait and see. I am excited to meet new people in Kuwait. Maybe I can even find myself a hot, available LT or CPT to befriend...

 Anyways, I am exhausted. I am going to use my last hour or two to call some people before my cell phone is rendered useless. See you all on the other side of the world...

The Dating Files

So I promised a while back that I would update this about my dating life. Now seems as good of time as any to do this because:

A)    I don’t feel like doing work

B)    I just wrote a post, so I am actually thinking about the Blog for once

and

C)    I just got “dumped” (if you can be dumped without really dating) by the guy I was sort of seeing

I joined match.com a few months ago upon recommendation from one of my friends here at Fort Eustis. She was messing around with the free features of the site on day, and then decided to join. After she did, I decided why not.  After all, if everyone is doing it, I might as well. So I think I joined around the beginning of March. I talk to a couple guys on the site and, after careful consideration, decide to go on a date with a guy that I have been texting for about a week.

Guy #1

            So guy #1’s name is Preston. He looks fairly safe from his profile pictures. He’s in the Navy and enjoys golfing. He’s cute but not overly hot. I decide this is a good guy to test the blind date thing on because I won’t be as nervous as if he was super hot or something. We decide to meet up at a place in Virginia Beach that has a bunch of beers on tap and supposedly really good food. Sounds perfect to me. We decide on a random Friday night (in fact it is the Friday before St. Patrick’s Day).

            Of course, I am flipping out before the date. I don’t know what the fuck to wear or how I will pick him out of the crowd or what we will talk about. I almost cancel about 5 times. This is serious neurotic freak out. Somehow, I manage to put together an outfit and get my ass in my car. I bring along a mug of coffee (because I am dead tired from the work week) with a splash of Bailey’s (more to make me feel calm that to even affect met). Along the way, I hyperventilate a bit, call Emilia, reassure myself, and finally make it to VA Beach.

            Meeting him is not as awkward as one would think. We meet outside the restaurant, so we can pick each other out. When we go inside, the Lehigh-Duke game is on so immediately I have a fall back to talk about. This is good. We order beers, picking out the drink for the other person. It’s actually a super cute ritual because you get to try a new beer, as well as impress the other person with your beer knowledge. He def got bonus points for this.

            I don’t really remember the conversation at this point, but I know that it was super laid back and easy. At the end of the date, we have an awkward hug and I scurry off to my car. When I say scurry, I mean scurry. I do NOT want to stick around for the awkward kiss. Nope. Overall a great date, but then he made his mistake. (Aside: on my way home from the date, my GRANDMOTHER drunk dials me about Lehigh beating Duke. Probably the funniest moment of the whole night because I could barely understand her other than hearing her slur about Lehigh).

            The next day is St. Patrick’s Day. My friends and I have epic plans to go to the Norfolk parade at 8 am and get wasted. I had mentioned these plans to Preston the night before and apparently he took it as an open invite. Around 1 pm, while my friends and I are trashed at some bar, Preston shows up. This displeases drunk Meagan. I feel smothered, and so logically ignore him. Yeah, I know, pretty damn rude, but I was drunk and not thinking logically. Not to mention my myriad of commitment issues. All I can think of is, “Oh shit. He’s following me.” So I grab one of my friends, and we pretty much just leave. Apparently he hung out with my other friends for a while and then eventually went home.

            Now I feel bad about all of that. All my other friends said he seemed like a nice guy. But if I were being honest, I wasn’t that attracted to him in the first place. He’s a great guy, but I really had no physical attraction to him. Call me shallow, but you have to have at least some chemistry with a person to start a relationship. So after St. Patty’s Day, he texted me a couple more times, but we basically just stopped texting.

 Guy #2

            This situation is a little more drawn out that Preston. Bob emailed me shortly after the whole Preston debacle. I think it was less than a week later.  And after texting a bit, we decide to meet in person. Guess where Bob picks to meet? Yeah, the same place I met Preston. Guess it’s a hot date spot. Also, guess what Bob does for a living? That’s right, he’s a Navy Officer. The similarities were kind of uncanny. Oh well. Bob seems nice and sweet and cute, so we will give it a shot.

            I wasn’t nearly as nervous for this date, as I was for the one with Preston. I think because I had just been on one, plus I was on familiar ground. So the initial introduction goes fine. He’s cute. A little preppy but cute. It turns out that he went to the Naval Academy and graduated with my friend Allison. So we had that to talk about. The conversation isn’t as smooth as it was with Preston, but it’s not too awkward. Afterwards, he walks me back to my car because we are parked close, but instead of doing the awkward lingering I just get in and drive away. Kisses are fine on the first date, but I really don’t feel like dealing with awkward, so I avoid it at all costs.

            So after the first date at the end of March, it is Easter and I go to Florida with my family. We continue to text all the time, and I realize that he’s really great. The unfortunate (or maybe fortunate) part is that he leaves on a 5 week training exercise as soon as I get back from Easter break. We agree to email while he’s away, and he texts when there is service. I enjoy the whole long distance thing, as I don’t feel smothered. Although, every now and then he’ll say things like, “I miss you so much. I can’t wait until we are together again.” This freaks me out a little because we’ve only had one date, but whatever. He’s away, so I’m good.

            So Bob gets back from his cruise right before Mother’s Day. I am gone that weekend as well as the next one (for Bamboozle, which is a crazy story within itself. I’m not sure if I even want to share the details of that one in print). I feel bad about being so busy, but he’s super understanding about it all. We continue to talk everyday through all of this time. The weekend I get back from Bamboozle is Memorial Day (so I have a 4 day). I want to go home for a family picnic, but I decide that I’ve haven’t seen Bob in forever and we really need to go on date #2 if we are going to go anywhere (not to mention he is deploying in July, so we should really spend time together if we have any chance of staying together).

            I tell my family I already have plans and can’t go to the picnic, and then Bob and I make arrangements. He had duty Friday, so that day was out (which is good because I needed a night of recovery from all the activity). We make plans to go out Saturday. He was going to come up here, but I decide I'd rather go down there because there's more to do and a lot of places up here are rather ghetto (he wanted to go bowling, but I’m sure the Newport News bowling alley is bad news). We decide I'll come down around 530 Saturday.

So Saturday, I chill by the pool most of the day. At 3 I realize that he hasn't texted me at all which is strange. He normally texts me constantly. So I text him "Hey what's up." He gives me a one word answer, but I don't think much of it. After chilling at the pool, I go shower, shave, paint my nails, do my hair, do my makeup, get dress. I go all out. He's a really sweet guy, and I want to impress him. At 430 I still haven’t gotten any texts from him other than the one word answer. So I text him, "hey what's the plan?" because we never decided where we were meeting. At 515 he responds, "I'm just going to stay here family friends are in town." So I respond "Um, do you want to do something another time? I was getting ready to leave." All he says is, "OK." I haven't heard a word from him since.

Now normally I wouldn't care, but he knew I was supposed to be going to a family picnic Saturday but I decided to stay to go out with him. If he knew he had friends coming into town he could have told me to just go to my picnic. OR if he had let me know before 530 at night, I could have also made it. He never apologized about bailing or anything. I literally was all dressed up with nowhere to go. Of course, I call my parents crying about not being there and ask if I can drive up late (which they say is def not worth it). So I curl into a ball with my Ben and Jerrys and feel sorry for myself.

And since then, I haven't had a single text or call from him, and like I said before, we literally have talked every single day for the past 2 months.WHAT THE FUCK. I was so angry this weekend. No explanation, no nothing. And he made me miss a weekend with my family by not telling me before. So I did the logical thing and layed on my couch feeling sorry for myself all of Sunday and Monday. I feel much better now.

Shot

So I had to go to the Orthopedic Doctor today because my hamstring has been bothering me since NOVEMEBER and nothing had helped it. The doctor says he's going to give me a cortisone shot. Okay. I guess....

Well, I wouldn't have minded except I asked the nurse if it was going to hurt. He said, "I have no idea. I have never ever seen him do this on a hamstring." Cool that was reassuring. So then the doctor comes back into the room, and I ask him if it's going to hurt. He says, "uhh umm well yeah. I can only numb the top layer of the skin and it is going much deeper than that." YIKES. So I ask if it's going to be quick like a shot. He says "uhhh ummm not exactly." What the fuck kind of answer was that. Every single time I ask a question he goes "ummm uhhh" like we are talking about resetting a fucking bone without anesthesia. So of course by this time I am completely fucking flipped out. I am wearing these lovely scrub shorts they gave me to put on (literally they looked like an oversized diaper) so they can get to my upper hamstring without seeing my underwear I guess. I looked retarded with my ACU top and these blue paper short things on.

So basically, I'm laying there on the exam table in my fucking fashion statement, flipped out because my doctor made it sound like we are going to have pain on the level of giving birth. Not to mention I can't see anything because  I'm on my stomach. For all I know, he could have had a chain saw back there or been getting ready to shove a needle in my thigh the size of a marker. Literally these are the images going through my mind at that point. They start putting this numbing shit on the top of my skin which feels hot and cold at the same time. So I completely tense up and start biting my ACU top expecting him to start carving into my skin any minute. I feel a small pinch, but I assume that they are still putting that god awful numbing shit on. Then he says something about how does that feel, and I'm like "can we please just get this over with." And he's like, "oh we are done already." WHAT??? You little fucker. That didn't hurt at all. In fact, it hurt less than a normal shot because you put that stupid numbing stuff on my skin. Completely unnecessary. I do not appreciate you acting like this is going to be the worst fucking procedure in the world when in reality it hurt less than someone pinching me. You must have the lowest pain tolerance ever.

Afterwards:

Doctor: No activity for a couple weeks

Me: What's a couple of weeks

Doctor: 2-3

Me: What about swimming

Doctor: No. You have to push off and we can't risk aggravating things.

Me: What about biking

Doctor (giving me a funny look): No

Me: What about elliptical

Doctor: No. You can't do anything

Me: What about lifting

Doctor: I guess if you don't use your legs at all

Me: What about walking on the treadmill

Doctor: No. You can't do anything for at least 2 weeks other than going for a leisurely stroll

Me: HMPH

Work Conversation

So my dad has my work number, and sometimes he will call that instead of my cell when he has a question for me. Usually just to make fun of the way I answer the phone. So anyways, CPT L's phone rings, and I hear him pick it up. He's talking for a couple of second and tells the caller that I have switched desks and he will transfer him. He then asks who it is. So then, he says, "It's your dad, I'll transfer him over." But for some reason, he accidentally pushes the wrong extension. So then he has to pick it up again and tell my dad he's trying again. I'm not sure what the fuck he was doing, but it took about 5 minutes for him to transfer the fucking call over.

ANYWAYS, so I finally get the call and my dad says, "Do you have a contract for special people to work in your office?" I thought I was going to die laughing. And I just say, "No, that was CPT L. We switched desks." Because obviously CPT L is still within hearing range, so I can't say what I want to say. SO my dad proceeds to lay into me about CPT L. "Wow. I thought he was retarded. I thought maybe it was a private There is no way that that guy is a Captain." To which I say, "And it's even better in person. Appearances are very telling" So then my dad says, "That just goes to show you can get promoted if you have a pulse and can string two sentences together. Actually, excuse me, that guy actually couldn't string two sentences together so that must not even be a requirement." It was so funny. He just kept going on and on about how retarded CPT L sounded on the phone for the two minutes they were on the phone together.

My Job

Now, I realize I haven't updated this in a while. And since that last time I updated it, I have joined Match.com with one of my friends from here at Fort Eustis. I have also gone on 2 blind dates with people from the site. Both of which went pretty well. HOWEVER, I don't really feel like posting all of that right now, so I will leave my romantic life for another post. Possibly tomorrow.

Right now, I would love to talk about how much I love my job. First off, here is a typical day for me:

5 am- Alarm goes off. Consider getting up and going to morning sping class. Decide I will be more pleasant and happy at work if I sleep in. Know this is a dirty lie, but don't care.
7 am- Alarm goes off again. Realize that Sheldon is sleeping on top of my airway, so that is why I have been having trouble breathing for the past 2 hours. Get up, shower, eat.
8 am- Go to physical therapy for my torn hampstring. Ponder how much I hate the dumb exercises they give me. Wonder why my hampstring has been bothering me since late November. I have never had an injury last this long.
9 am- Get to work. Check email. Try to draw out responding to emails and getting silly stuff done until lunch time.
1130 am-1 pm- Go home and visit Sheldon for lunch. Have a ham, spinach and salsa sandwhich. Everyday. No variety.
105 pm- Get back to work. Probably go sit in some dumb meetings that have no relevance to anything I say.
3 pm- Sit in my office and stare menicingly at the back of the CPT's head that now works in my officer. Wonder why my boss thinks he is so great when he is a fat, anti-social creeper who can't say a sentence without a millions "ums." He also clearly has no life, as he is always here at like 7 am and stays until well after I leave. I bet his wife hates him. Then again, if I were here I wouldn't want him home either.
315 pm- put my kindle on my desk and read it in between cleaning up some of the spreadsheets that I manage. There is only so much I can do with the few tasks I have been given by my boss.
4 pm- Stare at the clock. Wonder how many more days until the weekend.
455 pm- SUPRISE! Some emergency or another comes up. Most likley from the DCO (deputy commanding officer), and I have to do something that makes me stay until well past leaving time.
630 pm- Finally leave the office. Ponder why I do nothing all day and still don't leave work until after everyone else. Very unfair.
645 pm- Consider going to the gym. Realize I have missed my favorite kettle bell/spinning/body pump class and decide I don't feel like trying to make up my own work out. Promise self I will go at 5 am the next morning (JOKE)
7 15 pm- EAT lots of food to make myself feel better about how aweful work is. Then feel guilty because I haven't worked out at all.
8 pm- Watch some mindless TV show. Hopefully The Voice.
930 pm- Go to bed early, so I can wake up and go to the gym in the morning
1130 pm- Realize I have been lying in bed for 2 hours not sleeping and am supposed to get up in 5.5 hours. FUCK


Now boys and girls, doesn't that sound fun? I have come to the realization that I HATE my job. There is nothing fun/challenging/meaningful about it. And worse than all of that, there isn't anything for me to do half the time. My boss has us delegate everything down and yells at me if I try to do things myself. All I do all week is stare at the clock/calendar and pray for Friday night to get here. I don't think I've ever been so unhappy in my life. There is just nothing worth doing around here.

I miss you

So this is going to sound super lame, but I miss you. The limited people that have access to this were my best friends at school. This past week I've been missing every single one of you.

I'm probably just going through the winter blues or whatever, but I've been thinking lately. I never had a problem making friends before. There were always people I disliked, people I tolterated, and people I liked. Super simple. I was never short of people I liked. Ever. But now, I feel like everyone I know down here in VA is just alright. There's no one I really consider a good friend. They are all aquaintences, mostly from work, who I force myself to socialize with so I don't die of boredom.

Now, I think part of this comes from the fact that all my life I have been surrounded by people my own age in similar environments. It's almost as if we grow up in vaccums. I went from grade school to college to summer camps to vacations to army schools to whatever. No matter where I was I was always in an enviroment where people were forced to bond with each other.

It is probably different for many of you, being back at home where you still have some old friends, or even in a workplace that fosters more of a "young professional" attitude. But for me, I feel like I am more alone than I have ever been. Practically everyone I work with is married and substantially older. I have made it an effort on my part to seek out other LTs to hang out with. And while I have slowly compiled a group of around 7 "friends." I would never call a single one of them to talk or anything. Basically I am using them so I have someone to go out with, although there isn't really anywhere to go.

It's just kind of depressing.

Tuesdays are boring

Today is Tuesday. I'm bored. I wish it was Friday.

I was told that I haven't updated my blog in a while. This is true. Nothing exciting has happened. 2 weekends ago I slept all weekend. This past weekend I didn't do much either. Although I did have 2 friends over on Sunday to watch the Super Bowl. It was fun.

So yeah. That's pretty much it. I'm exhausted today because I was given muscle relaxants to take at night because my hampstring is still bothering me (has been since November). Well turns out they don't knock me out like everyone else. They make me hyper. So I spent half the night watching TV and coloring last night. I went to sleep late, but I got up later than usual (got 7 hours of sleep). However, I was exhausted when I woke up. It felt like I weighed 200 lbs. And my hammy didn't feel any better. It just felt like I was really heavy. And I've been ridiculously tired all day. I don't think I will take those again. I guess they make me hyper initially, and then make me really tired and blah feeling once they wear off. NO FUN.

My mom said that when I was a kid, she gave me Benadryl because I was sick, and she wanted me to go to sleep. Turns out, shortly after she gave it to me I rolled over and started crawling for the first time. Apparently things that are supposed to make people tired make me hyper. Go figure. We already knew there was something wrong with me...